Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I was hoping she would be here in time from Yule with Alex’s family, in a way she will be here on the day (well night really) that we are all celebrating Winter Solstice. We will be picking Chelsea up before the night is over but after we leave the family’s place. I cant tell any one really how excited I am so get to see Chelsea, I do miss being around her, her witty remarks, her air of know-all, her little laught that only she knows how to make, the smell of her ( although she by now smell different being as she has a baby with its only smell and so I am sure the two smell has merged). Oh yea my memory works better by smell, and I relate things by smell.
Brit will be coming too, he wont get to stay as long, but it will be nice to get him up here to see Louisville, we want Chelsea and Company to move up here. Good luck to us then.
For more info on Yule see next blog.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
My Best friend Lauren (from 8 years ago) is having a baby. She already has a beautiful little boy, who is looking more and more stunning very picture I get. I have not seen her for almost 7 years. She lives only 778 miles from me, that’s only a 12 hour trip. Yet its just to far, I would love to go see her, I don’t see how though.
I miss her so much, I have to say Lauren was the one and only best friend whom I ever got on with. Sure we had our times, but she was the only person in that world (other than my blood) that I loved more than myself. I have so many happy memories. I know she has long since moved on, and I am not considered her best friend any more, that I miss more than any thing.
I will say that It was suppose to be me having the first kids, but I am very glad she is happy
Monday, November 28, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
I look and find a couple crimson puddles by the window. That is all I recover. Well at least I got to cherish them for a few moments. Maybe now the cats poo will smell like roses.
As for my dog, well she has this thing for baby carrots. She loves them, they are like the greatest treats in her world. She gets one and shreds it, there are little pieces of orange things all over the floor. She will then run around in circles eating it, starting on the outer most pieces and working her way in. she does the same thing with her dog food if you scatter it on the floor. Now don’t get funny by the idea, I don’t feed my dog off the floor, its just a game she and I do and she loves it.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
I miss the friends.
I miss the good food.
I miss the salty air.
I miss China Town.
I miss the colours.
I miss the waves.
I miss the ‘toilet bowl’.
I miss the feeling the being there.
I miss the rain.
I miss the green mountains.
I miss the flowers.
I really miss the smell of the island, my home.
But I will tell you I do not miss the people, or the prices, or the schools I went to. I don’t miss how I was treated.
Would I ever want to live there again. No, never. There are other places with their own beauty. I will only go back there once more in my life, and that will be for my grandmother bereavement.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I was really looking forward to this class. At least it is raining out side. It’s a nice rain too, very soft and clean. Smells like my heaven.
I need to go see an advisor, think I will go do that.
My mind can’t seem to stay on one thing today. That’s okay, because it’s raining.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Well, Alex is there now, and he rocks that position. The sales have gone up, and the members are happier, much happier. So much they gave Alex another dollar raise, He is making the most here he has ever made. All that and he is happy there, he loves his job, and he has fun.
Monday, October 10, 2005
It’s most out there to send people a message that the heads represents the mind-body connection. The heads also are trying to tell parents to set healthy habits for their children. The heads want to send the message that a lot of your physical health issues can be related to your mental issues, whether you are aware of these issues or not. Same goes for the other way around, being physical unhealthy can keep you from being mentally fit.
I so totally agree with that. There are these five enduring issues psychologists have been interested in, and the mind-body connection is one of them.
I will have more on my psychology reflection.
Friday, September 30, 2005
I like, no Love to get dirty, thank you very much. Lets then leave the Golden Rule out of this.
Unappealing to some? No, unappealing to many. I have no idea where these people come from. What their lives have been like, how they were treated as children. But I do know someone who thinks we need closed minded people to have open minded people. don’t get me wrong, I very much believe in a full and strong balance of life. The only problem is there is no balance with these type of people this male corresponds to, not yet. The only propose this male serves is to give people a voice. I mean that in both ways, he give the closed minded and dumb a voice, and he gives people like me an anger enough to want to voice against him. I read it by my choice to see what the “other” side has to throw.
If we didn’t have people like this in the world maybe the world wouldn’t end, maybe it might just keep on spinning like it has been for much longer than his god has been an opinion in any one head.
Now, that “model in all senses” is going way too far. ALL senses??? How so all? I am very sure we could “differentiate between our own ideas of good and bad” with out that males point of view.
This world is very real, but people like this male make our country a nightmare.
I don’t ever want to see another person say this male did not cause harm to me directly, he harms every thing I stand for. He has a lot of hate for me and mine, he just has not met me in person to let me know how much.
I wish people would read more, like real book, books about how things used to be under religious rule, where stupid people in mobs killed. Where if you did not believe in a certain god you were to be thrown down to the deepest hole. How so many people were wiped out because they knew to much. Where women were hunted, raped and then killed because they knew how to heal and males did not. Because the fucken church wanted the power, so they had the women of influence wiped out. Read this book. I wish people would read a few Pearl S. Buck books. ‘The Good Earth’ is the best,. Pearl won the Nobel Prize in literature, the first American woman to do so. Her books are what people should write and read. How about the book, ‘The Ugly American‘, by William J. Lederer, and Burdick, Eugene now that book moves people.
I just don’t understand how someone can say their religion is the best when Most have never studied another single religion and if they have they did so with closed minds believe to only read evil and sinful subjects.
In the end I have voiced how much disagree I with what the male wrote.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Oh here is his site.
I mean gross, I don’t have enough words to say how distasteful this person is to me. I want to try for the fun of it.
Revolting, horrid, nauseating, awful, repulsive, gross, stupid, obtuse, ludicrous, close-minded, narrow-minded, simple-minded, unsophisticated, biased, confined, naive, prejudiced, box head, stupid, stupid, stupid. Please if you can think of any others to match his train of thought, feel very free to post all you want.
I will just say it once more. I very intensely loathe brutes like him.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I could say that being lazy makes a person stupid, if you don’t want to make the effort to improve your mind. But then for some people it is difficult to gain knowledge, to remember. What makes a person smarter? Someone who learns fast, or someone who learns slowly, yet takes the time to learn?
I want to be smart, I want to know matters and topics and subjects, and think at a higher level. I want to know how to ask really good questions. So what much I do?
Now, I can whine about it or I can do something. I think do.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
There is a break area where I work, and in that area are lockers, two tables, a sink, two vending machines, a microwave, and a refrigerator. I keep my lunch in the frige because I usually have something in it that needs to be kept cold.
I want you to know that I don’t buy or even think about pop tart’s much. Maybe only once in a blue moon will I even crave them. So then I will go and buy a box, of strawberry, unfrosted (I like them better that way, less fake sugar) and then when I get them home I will think about them, and look at them, then maybe I will put them in whatever bag or purse I will be taking for that day.
You can tell I really didn’t have my mind on my poptart today because I didn’t even notice it was missing till I got home and saw the box.
I just cant believe that some stupid person would see if I have any thing good to eat. I do wonder if perhaps this was the first time, because I normally only have like a sandwich, hardboiled egg, apple sauce, a few cookies. Just simple stuff. I mean if this person had looked in my bag a few days ago they would have found a bowl full of red colored smush with bits of green stuff. Yummy
I will get my revenge, this person will be popped.
Friday, September 09, 2005
His full name is very extensive, yet it’s Hawaiian.
There isn’t a track I don’t like. I could listen to any and all of his CD’s over and over.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
At least is was a beautiful number., I mean if you are going to get a ticket, you should make it something to remember. My first ticket was 25 over, of course that was because…well okay I really don’t have a significant reason for it, but it was a hick cop that pulled me over. The cop asked me with his enormous mirror glasses and strait cow boy hat, “where’s the fire?”, what a stupid male. The judge for that county wasn’t much brighter. What a joke that whole ordeal was.
So ladies and gentlemen, try not to speed, or at least try not to get caught.
Friday, September 02, 2005
I love my psychology class and professor; the class really makes me feel like I want to be there. I love the course, and what it makes you think about. I love how you can be different and it’s not a bad thing.
I love that I can do my papers early if I want to, and that I know how many there will be in the year.
Yea, I really like college, sure there it is lacking the "normal" college stuff in my college, but I am used to it in a way. I never had the "normal" high school stuff either. No prom or band, no clubs in any form, unless you count the smoking club in the restrooms. The one I would have loved and miss the most was the biology class, where you get to dismember the pigs and eyes and chicken feet.
Maybe I will get to do that in one of my college classes.
Friday, August 12, 2005
The birthing was intense, Chelsea was having contractions for two days when she decided it was a rather exceptional time to get it over with. She had wanted to go natural, but when we all got to the hospital (around 9:00 in the pm) she opted for drugs in her spine. There was lots of moving from L&D room to waiting room for those who weren’t the cause of this situation Chelsea found her self in, finally all the secret talks with the doctors were over and we could sit tight. As Chelsea labored, the family decided to grab a bite before all the real work began. We went to this little café that was open 24/7, and everyone got something to eat and some coffee. I had chocolate coffee, and these really exceedingly magnificent pancakes. It was to live for.
We got back, hung out some, then we all just kind of found our selves in slumber realm. I woke to find Chelsea alone and having a rather hard time. She and I did a few minuets of breathing till Brit joined us. By this time is was close to 7 in the morning, we got Mom, we all just comforted Chelsea. With in minuets the nurses decided that it was time to start the labor part. Mom and I took turns helping Chelsea labor, and I don’t mean push or any thing, just lots of holding of the legs and breathing, and smiling and stuff. The doctor came in and out a lot, the nurses did most of the bed side assistance, around 930 or so, the doctor double wrapped herself and took position. It got really intense then, 45 minuets later at 1018 little bitty was born, with a simple cry and a beautiful colour.
Both Jessie and I would all tears, it was so….. I don’t think I have the words to explain how I felt.
Chelsea did so well the whole time. She did seem a little detacted, but I don’t blame her for wanting to leave her body after all she went through. She had to stay in the hospitals for 48 hours. And then it was a whole stupid deal to get her out, but that’s for another time.
I am so very glad I was able to be apart of this experience. I love my sister, and always will. I can understand that life can and will throw you a funny ball, I guess its all about how you seize it.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
MP, Michael Parks. That is who did this wonderful picture. Along with many other marvelous pieces of art. I love how he draws women, sure they are all long, but they are not sticks. His women have a beauty that few people can really appreciate or even envision. I love the charming colours, and the feelings that secretes off them.
This picture is my favorite, its called Angle Affair.
I guess I just like angels, even if I don’t like the originator.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
This was a great idea, since neither Jessie nor I can swing a racket much less hit a ball. So all our determination was set on getting this soggy yellow ball over the net or even in the vicinity of each other, and if the dripper went flying way off, or hit the net, or my forehead we find our selves yell “It never happened” and whacking it back to the other. We had soo much fun laughing at each other watching me fall on my ass. After that we went leaping around in the fountain, because the water was warm and clean-ish.
Now Jessie is going down South to texas to see our pregnant older sister.
Yes, I will miss my little fiend.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
I thought it would be neat to put a picture of me up. I think I took this one myself. For some reason people don't take my picture, or at least I have very few action shots of me. I have always taken my own pictures, I find the ones I take of myself are far better than any taken by someone else.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I mean, this commercial I saw about some panty liners, it was a ‘spokes woman’ for this pad company, standing in a store in the sanitary napkins row, this woman was asking ladies about their pads.
“did you ever feel uncomfortable in your pad?”
These stupid girls would say shit like “yes sometimes my pad feels sticky, and it makes me oh so self-conscious.”
I mean, they pore some blue water in this pad, and then had the girls feel the pad and tell them if it feels sticky.
OF COURSE it wont feel sticky, its freaking blue water.
Okay, so having a menstrual cycle is a bad thing to today women.
Why though? Why does it have to be such an ghastly thing? It’s one of the many beautiful things our bodies can do that the male body cant. This thing means we can give life, it means our bodies are healthy, it means we are in our prime.
I never have likes any of the pad advertisements, they feel degrading to natural women. I my self use Glad Rags. They are so awesome, I mean they will last for years. All I ever have to do is think of a years supply of used pads sitting somewhere, and I cant wait till my next moon cycle to use my glad rags.
Yea some people can think that’s gross all they want, but they are just the type of people who are afraid of their own bodies. Or just really guilty about being alive, but I won’t do there today, not about the self indulged guilt-ridden born sinners.
Damn, I did it again, I got off track.
Life should be enjoyed, every single bit of it. And nothing that is natural for our bodies to do is ever a bad terrible, prejudicial or shameful thing.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I love these pictures, they are of one my fav. things in all of time. It's a mermaid. I loves all these pictures, They make me happy just to look at them.
I guess I can say I would love to be aa mermaid. Funny, did'nt a certin Little Mermaid, wants the same thing as me, but in a reverse role?
I do have a few other pictures, mostly from off a few other sites. There are so many done all throughout time. Some many done by so many people. I would love to see all the mermaid pictures done by some of the greastest artist. I think I will make a mermaid link for this passion of mine. With time I am sure I can express all my passions, and I do have quite a few.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Saturday, June 18, 2005
My favorite jelly is raspberry, although I can really take down some strawberry. I also prefer creamy peanut butter over crunchy.
I have never tried grape or mandarin jelly, nor have I tried cashew or almond butter, but I can tell you now that maybe I might just try it.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Give me time and I will get a picture up here of her. When we went to look at her, there were 5 puppies left, and out of a pack of 9 there were only 2 females. If Alex and I were 5 minutes late She would have been taken by some old yucky looking woman. Lucky for our baby.
Which by the way we have named her Domino.
She follows me around where-ever I go and she is always so excited to be with me. We go to the park a lot, sit in the grass, and watch everything that moves. I do have to learn how to train puppies, that wont be so easy for me but I’m sure I can figure it out,
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
I can’t say she has learned all this by her self, no I Am her older sister so there I am accountable. Like most younger siblings they always watch and learn from their older siblings. My sister has taking quite a lot of my opinions, thoughts and ideas and put them to impish use. I love my sister, so I will always feel the need to protect her.
She is not like me in the sense of defense, she would prefer to ignore where I love to, “lash-out.” I will always believe that standing up for your self keeps you durable, plucky, tough, assertive, bold. To defy those who wish to beat you down, is a way to acquire a personal rage to keep moving upward.
I am guilty of letting my younger sister think she is better than me to raise her self-worth. I am also guilty of teaching her how to make a person feel less than worthy. I am very guilty of thinking she were old enough to understand how life works and how people feel and think. She does not understand that as special as her family thinks she is, she is only a child who wants to grow up in a world she has no idea about. My sister is very sheltered, and she has no discipline at all. She was never obedient or reprimanded. This again is partly my fault. I say partly because I can not be blamed for the choices of others.
When I turned 13 years old, my family has just left a very abusive father and as I have said before I am more likely to lash-out than to be submissive. My father is like that too, he was also a very angry man and I was a very angry child.
Mix that anger with moving, add being different, in a non-white school system, then throw in a lot of hormones and you will get a very wild little thing. My teen years were so intense, tough, challenging, and raw with feelings I wonder how my mother didn’t kill me. My mother never punished me like she should have. I guess she thought I was so out of control that I was unable to be restrained. I don’t think she had the heart to after what my fathers punishments used to be. Because she never punished me, why should she punish my sister, it wouldn’t be fair. But, I wonder at how she can be my sisters puppet. To play her games and really believe my sister is faultless. I know the last born is always the mommies favorite, and can do no wrong. I just have to keep telling myself that when my sister is so awful to me and I think my mother has to have seen it, but doesn’t, that it’s the baby film over her eyes and that she still loves me.
My sister and I have this question, “what’s worse, living without a father or living with a father who hurts you and your family?”
I want my sister to grow out of this phase, I can’t tolerated it much longer. I want her to get a reality slap so hard that she can then see that she’s not the sun, but a bit of floating space rock.
Monday, June 06, 2005
I have been growing my hair out for 10 years now, I cut it all off when I was 12 years old freshly moved to Arizona. A place where the temp gets up to 106. I made a promise to myself then, I would never again chop my hair off. Then time went by, I got older and more busy. I couldn’t see myself going all the things I wanted to do with so much hair. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not hard in the slightest to take care of long hair. I also figured it would be a smarter choice.
I can always grow my hair out again. I bet by the time I am 35 my hair will pretty much be back to its long length, that is if I don’t take a few years off and keep it short. I have always loved my long hair. I want to be a grandma with long hair up in a neat little bun, or braided down my back. I do not want to be an old woman with a pompom hair cut.
So give it time and it will be back. As for now, I will enjoy my short hair while it lasts.
Friday, June 03, 2005
It's just perfect for people who hate their lives. People who want to have such control over other people. People who like to make and see others do weird or gross things. People who have dreams but can never truly reach those imaginings.
Of course it’s also just a great game to laugh at. It really teaches you about life. The truth of it. But like all unreal things in this world The Sims also comes with its very own cheat code. Something life has yet to provide, unless you are of course really smart in the ways of how to rip people off.
The old Sims was really cool, I mean it was a game you could sit and play for hours.
The new one is even better, way more cool and not all shut up like I hoped it wouldn’t be.
I mean shut up like all good and christen. I mean a “good christen family” would never allow their innocent virgin minded children to watch two unmarried females (or two males) do woohoo., much less let them command that action.
Like I said this game is awesome.
If you have yet to play it, I urge you to try it for a day.