Back I am ~~{~@

I think that Imbolc is my favorite holiday of all eight solstices and equinoxes. It’s like seeing the sun break though the clouds, or smelling the fresh air, or seeing the end of winter. Imbolc is like having hope, after so long a time spent in sadness. I love that it is a sign to believe in the fade and flow of the seasons. I thought today would be a prefect time to return to my blog. Like the returning of light and spring, I will share my thoughts and feelings.

I was listening to this song I found, Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal and it felt so right for this time of year, and point in my life. It has an excellent music video with it. Although the lyrics are somewhat mystifying and rather sinister, the sound is fantastic.

It has been a very long time since I have written. I have not have enough order in my life to desire to reach out to the world. There is so much that has happened around and to me. It has been over 2 years, and I am ashamed I have neglected this for so long. I really enjoy writing, and although it is still a little strange to me to be writing where people can see it I do not mind so much. I still have my journal I keep. So I plan of adding some of the past 24 months to the next posts. I would love to hear feed back. Of course I have to have people reading this to have feed back. Maybe I will get brave and tell some friends of this. Oh yes, I now have friends. I have changed quite a bit.

An Inconvenient Truth

The Mother is just getting started people. I dont think this is the first time humans have had to go through this. I guess all I can say is...Survival of the Fittest. The movie trailer for the most terrifying film you will ever see.

Family Arrives

My Older Sister, her Baby, Brother-in-law and Uncle are all arriving in town in a few hours. I cant wait to see the baby. I haven’t seen him in a year, I bet he has grown so big now.
Cant wait to add pictures of him here.

Peanuts For The Homeless.

As I was driving down 6th Street to my apartment no more than 5 minuets ago, I was waiting at a red light when an older black lady approached my car and said to me, “miss can you help me, I'm trying to get something to eat?”

I didn’t have anything at all in the car with me…other than my peanuts.

So I pip up and say, “ Hey I have some peanuts!”

She asks me if she can have them and I hand them over. She thanks and ‘god bless’ me then just walks away and I drive home.

I have had plenty of people walk up to me and ask me for cash, never for food. And never someone so easy to please. I should have given her the bottle of water I had not opened yet.

Oh well, good karma to me.

Music: Bastard Fairies

I found this really cool band/group.
I think they are great. And so much fun.
The Chic is really hot, Love the shape of her mouth, and how it moves.
They are really different, and I like them.
The music is not crazy out of control like, but it’s totally something else.
Yes I can say they have become one of my favorites.
Thanks Bastard Fairies.

Winter 2006 Pictures

I am updating my pictures. I felt like a pretty person today so I took some pictures of myself. As I have stated before. No one takes pictures of me. So if I want to show my children what I looked like at this age, I must take my own pictures. I think they are pretty good. I think they capture the mood of me now. 2006. # 2, #3, #4

I do no wear alot of make-up. In fact the only make-up I do wear is eye liner, and sometimes when I have not slept and ate in a while I will put on some lip stuff, because I get so pale.

Other wise I guess all I can say is that they are exactly what I want them to be.

Let me know what you think.

Ciao

What Happened To Alex

A Story By KCoe

Once upon a time there was a boy, who met a girl, and they found a bond through all the unpleasant stuff in life. Here was a bond that though it seemed very unlikely, (for he was from a rather low-end of town, his living situation was dreadful and he worked in a place the girl thought of as mediocre) with time it grew to be a wonderful and happy thing. She saw that he had a makings of a great provider and mate. So she looked past his living habits and his previous life issues and loved him.
Just a little-bit of time went by and the couple decided to move out of their mothers homes, first they thought of finding places close by each other, but where? He lived on one side of town, she the other. Then one of them, came up with the idea of moving in together, you know to save money and be together. It would get rid of all our problems they gaily thought.
So after a little planning they picked a place that was in the girls ‘area’ of life. One year lease signed, and all moved in they set to playing house the way they were taught. She thought most of his bad living habits would go away, because she believed him when he said they were not real, just something from having to live in his mothers house.
As the time went by, problems began to arise. The girl was not working, she wanted to go to school. The boy did not lose his bad habits. It should have been an okay deal really, they should have been able to work things out where they could balance each other. But because the boy cared so very much about work and the girl cared about his bad habits they could not work things out. They should have realize that if it would not change now, it would only get worse with time, but they were new at this game called House. They just wanted every thing to work out. She believed so much that with time maybe he would change. Turns out she didn’t believe that you can never change a boy into a man.
She did not give up, it became a conquest for her, to help him relies how much he has to offer her and the world. How much he was lacking as a person. She tried every thing she could think of to fix their relationship, to mend what was wrong, to heal the hurt and pain. She was so wrong in believing she would win. She wracked her mind for ways of making his see her point of view. How she thought she was right in what she believed. The girl had become what she hated most. After time had passed she understood she was the only one who cared about what she thought. She stopped caring as well, almost but not quite. She still cared, but she had given up trying. Turns out it was to late. The boy had worked his way up to where he was happy in his work, and he put much of his time and attention and love into his work that he seemed to lose interest in the girl. No one can blame him, she had become this horrible little monster to live with (or so she thought, and he wasn’t going to deny it). She found herself sinking into a deep darkness of anger, hate, and self made pain (mental pain mind you).
She had all but given up, she still loved him, wanted to love him more but could not bring herself to loving someone who she thought of as hurting and misunderstanding her. The boy did nothing to help their relationship, he just spend his time building his career, the love of his life.
Four times the earth went around the sun, and in that time the girl and boy were together. Someone said it was a four year hump, but they knew better, it was the bottom of the last hump together.
The girl thought this last time she would try her remaining card. Give the boy what he wants, his freedom. Even if that meant losing him, she loved him that much. Let the boy live on his own, maybe he would learn what he needed to learn on his own. If not, she would not be there to see it.
The girl thought is would be easy, but alas the pain of that thought hurt the girl more than any thing she had endured up to that time. Because of that pain, she knew it was right. She had her own lessons to learn, her own life to live.
The time has come to end my story, for now. Maybe I can tell a tale of some happiness over a hill.

Hapland Puzzle

I found this game, called Hapland Puzzle. It really is so much fun.
I had a lot of trouble figuring it out, Here is a walk through.
Do try to solve it before you read the walk through.

Open both windows and turn the arrow sign. Open the hatch and make the stick man pop out. Fire the first rock at bridge. Fire the second rock at bell. Fire both grenades at the bridge, and as it hovers over bridge, click on it. This will make the grenades pop into the air and explode. Fire the keycard at the bridge to make the stick man underneath open the door. Put the man into the cannon by clicking on him again and make another man pop out of the hatch. Have him fire the man in cannon up under the bell, but you must click on the spear to bend it slightly so that the stick man wont get speared. Click on the man under the bell to move the bell tower. Click the bell a few times to drop on spear, flinging rock onto mine blowing it up. Then, click on the door to make a man come out. He will walk past where the mine blew up. Just as he is about to enter the door, click on the man on the bottom. Note: This requires precise timing.

Here is Hapland Puzzle 2, I found a walk through online.

And here is Hapland Puzzle 3, fun fun fun people!!!
And it's walk through. I have not yet tested these, but I will soon.

Natures Magic

I have found my new favorite place. Its this store called Natures Magic. It does not have a site that I can find, but it has been here in Louisville for a while now, I cant believe it took me this long to find it. It has herbs, books, tools, and fun stuff. I have not had a chance to explore it that much yet, but give me time. I cant wait.

PPD

Pagan Pride Day is today.
Jessica (my new friend) and I will be going. Its about informing the public about other religions. And they will have vendors, which means stuff, fun stuff.

The Big Water

The night was dark and raining. It had been raining all day and all night. I was due into work at 1235 and because I love my job so much I was set on getting there. I knew if I could just make it to the freeway I would be off free. The alley way was completely under water, as was 6th street, the street in front of my building, the water covered all the sidewalk. I was just 8 blocks to the freeway.
Because it was so dark, I didn’t see how deep the water was till it was to late. I landed in four feet of water, that totally flooded my car and made it float. You have to keep a good speed while driving in water deeper than 6 inches, or you will lose momentum. I then hydro-planed into the deeper parts. Thanks to the Taco-Bell staff they helped me sail my car to the sidewalk and use the phone (as I don’t have a cell phone). Those people came out into 4 feet of water to help me, I have to say that’s really remarkable.
I was almost to the freeway when this happened, I had 2 blocks to go. Alex walked all the way to come get me (as we only have one car) so he could get me home safe. Our car is totaled, luckily for us, our insurance covered this.
Maybe Mother Nature was trying to tell me something, who knows, we have to get a new car now. Thank the Gods college is free, or I would be spending my college fund on a new car.

Mabon

Today is Mabon.
Mabon is the name used by some Wiccans for one of the eight solar holidays or sabbats of Neopaganism. It is celebrated on the Autumnal Equinox, which in the northern hemisphere occurs on September 23rd (occasionally the 22nd) and in the southern hemisphere is circa March 21.
Also called Harvest Home, the Feast of the Ingathering, or simply Autumn Equinox, this holiday is a ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth and a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Goddess and God during the winter months.
Among the sabbats, it is the second of the three harvest festivals, preceded by Lammas and followed by Samhain.

The Pink Flamgo

Yesterday I went to this party, it had a name, It was the Pink Flamgo Party. It had lots of alcohol and very strong frozen margaritas. After my second I was pretty much smashed. I some how got two more down and found out it is a really good thing I lived right across the alley.

The good thing about the party was that I think I made a new friend. I will divulge that I have been feeling rather lonely for a female friend, being as I had none that I could really relate with or could relate with me. I am hoping with my eyes closed tight that she will fill the emptiness I have had.

The Boxes

So job B is working at UPS, I am a Package Handler, really I drive a fork lift and love this job. Like I said befor, UPS pays my way through college and I have full ~free~ health insurance. I also really love and enjoy this job, no working with stupid customers, or stuck-up humans. I work hard for 4-5 hours a night, have the week ends off and its really close to home.
I have to say though, it’s a fun job.
About 8months ago my cousin posted about USPS ( not us) delivering a pathetic looking box, and it made me think.
After working at UPS for a while and seeing how things are done I now understand. It may be different over at ‘small sort’ (place that has only shipment under 30lbs stuff and No forks) but in my hub we smash stuff all the time. Don’t get me wrong, we DO NO do it on purpose, never, shit just happens. Like the other day this girl was lifting a skid (with a fork lift) with like 50 5-8 lbs boxes all wrapped up together with shrink wrap and the whole thing just fell over on its side. Not that easy to tilt back over being the whole thing weighted close to 300lbs and the shrink wrap busted, so we had to use the forks to try to save time, nope in the end we had to hand stack them all and rewrap it. You may think that’s not that big of a deal, but we have time limits and not enough space and that’s just a bloody nuisance. So yea in the process a couple boxes were smashed. Three out of fifty is good. I mean any thing can happen, we sometimes have to move fast, and if getting the job done on time means we have to flatten a corner of a box it might just happen. We don’t normally hurt what’s in the box, the box just gets a bit beat up.

Glad Rags

I just got my glad rags and Keeper cup today. I am so excited. I cant wait to use them.

Lammas

Today is Lammas.

Lammas Day (loaf-mass day), the festival of the first wheat harvest of the year.
This festival is also known as Lughnasadh, a feast to commemorate the funeral games (Tailtean Games) of Tailtiu, foster-mother of the Irish sun-god Lugh. Lammas is a Cross-quarter day occurring 1/4 of a year after Beltane.

Lammas is a Gaelic holiday celebrated on the full moon nearest the midpoint between the summer solstice and autumnal equinox, during the time of the harvesting.

Some Neopagans mark the holiday by baking a figure of the God in bread, and then symbolically sacrificing and eating it.

Birthday

Today is Bastain’s first Birthday. Happy B-Day to the little guy.

Bera Art Fair

The Bera Art Fair is this week end. I cant wait to go. The whole family is going, well not the whole family, Alex cant make it because his job wont give him up. I will miss him.
The last time I went to the Bera Art fair was over two years ago with Mom, it was our week end we spent together. I Had so much fun then.
The only way we get to go now is all due to Aunties generosity, she is selflessly putting us up in a motel room for the night.
The main reason I want to go to Bera is for this tea, I love his Spearmint tea, it is so fresh and smells like ecstasy.

There are Worse Choices

So, I have taken Job B and I will take neither A or C. Walking into the interview for Job C was strange for me. Yes it is something I want, but at what cost?
There are few things in my life that I can not and I really mean I just cant tolerate. Those things are the three things I am not allowed to talk about with other people. I can type them though. Sex, religion, and politicks.
Okay maybe four things, the forth being stupid people.
What has this to do with Job C? Well, as I walked into job C’s interview I did notice (with my eyes that see these things more than other people notice) all the christen crap. I guess I should tell you what this job was, it was a C.N.A. training and position at baptist East Hospital.
Okay so a lot of people would now claim I had lost my head, who cares about all the god-fearing-critter crap, and that one pages in their application about upholding certain beliefs in the hospital. It was a great opportunity, I just don’t know how long I could have worked in a place like that, surrounding myself with a problem I am working on. It would have been like throwing watered down gas on this fire I am trying to put out.
So no, I did not take the job. Call me crazy, but I have made worst choices in my life.

Help, What do I do?

I have a problem, I have been offered and I have planned on taking a terrific job ( we will call Job A) in 2 months, this is a dream job to most and something that is close to my heart although it is not what I wish to be doing for the rest of my life, it is a once-in-a-life-time opportunity. Next I have a job offer ( we will call Job B), that pays excellent, has superb benefits (such as paying my way through college, and free health insh.), and I know it will be a good job, yet it does not have enough hours, it has maybe 15-20 hours a week, it may pay great but not for so little time, and I know that I can not get more hours. It would have to be more like a second job.
Now comes the problem, I have just had a phone call, asking me for an interview, I thought the interviews for this job( yup, Job C) were over a week ago, guess not. This job interview is for something that I have wanted for a long time, it will be a great step towards my life dream job. I do know, it is not a once-in-a-life-time opportunity, but it would be a significant job.
I might not be able to take Job B with this last one, being as both could be 3rd shifts. I just don’t know what to do, I have never had to deal with this, I have never ever had this type of luck, or can I in this case call it misfortune? It would have been fortunate if Job C had come before I ever saw Job A . If I take Job A, then I can work Job B for the time till Job A comes along. I believe Job C has a contract. Now I can not be sure I will get Job C, but I know I have only not acquired 2 jobs, once I got an interview. I will know after 9am tomorrow morning.
So I am asking every one who reads this to please tell me what would You do? Job A, B, or C?